Pay It Forwarder

The Idea:
I am sure you have all heard of the concept of “pay it forward” as made famous by the Pay It Forward Movie starring Kevin Spacey or the series ran by Oprah, or possibly from a life experience of someone doing something nice and telling you to “pay it forward”. In any event one of my favorite blogs just ran an article reminding everyone to pay it forward, or forwarder, as I am sure we have all done those little things to make someone else’s day a bit more special.

The Point:
Part of this concept is to not receive anything in return for your generosity. However, it is impossible, when doing something for someone, without any expectation or desire of return, to not feel like a million bucks, which I think is kinda the point. So often we do so much for so many people with certain expectations of what they will do for us. These expectations while not intentionality harmful end up creating lose-lose situations where both the “giver” and “receiver” end up feeling crappy or slighted.

Thinking Back:
Just tonight when thinking back over my short little life about instances of paying it forward I definitly remember some highlights of my own, but remember many more of my parents. Anytime I have passed up an opportunity to help I don’t just feel that slight awing of guilt, but I also think to myself, my parents would not have done that… I can easily remember many a car trips where my parents would stop to help someone in need, push a broke down car, help someone get gas, and even one instance where they helped a huge van full of family and kids get to the nearest city taking multiple trips in our 5 seater car. I remember even as a kid thinking, I wonder if maybe this is dangerous, I wish we could just go home, etc, however after getting involved with strangers it showed me that we are all just regular people, and we could all use a hand now and again.

An instance of me paying it forward took place while driving and getting rear-ended. The speed of the crash was pretty intense and the drivers were frantic about what had just happened. Knowing that I was fine, they were fine, and the cars where fine I just said to not worry about it. The driver was overjoyed as anyone who has been in any type of car collision can attest to. The driver tried to “offer” me something and I declined, however I do remember saying something along the lines of “pay it forward” but not in those same words.

The other instance that stands out happened when leaving the store there was a mother and 2 kids with a shopping cart filled to the max with groceries, and just as she went out the door into the parking lot her 24 pack of eggs feel out and broke on the ground. It did not really make a mess, but her eggs were destroyed, and I could tell she was just too tired to go back into the store to fuss over the eggs. So.. I offered to run in real quick and replace them for her, to which she seemed shocked and overjoyed about. I could tell this made her day and of course made mine. If I did not get involved and help out I would have feel lame and guilty all night, but instead am left with a great memory that I will not soon forget.

Anyway, in keeping with remembering to pay it forward, or forwarder here is what I am doing

tonight:

• Responding to a request on craigslist for technology/web design help for non-profit organization. This is something that I have been wanting to do for a while, but just haven’t. Even if this initial offer does not go anywhere I will keep trying until I can help at least one person or organization utilize what services I have to offer.
• Making a donation to the Humane Society
• Sending out an overdue thank you card

and what I will do next:

• Remember this idea, and pay extra attention for a pay it forward opportunity
• Purchase a subscription of Wired, my favorite magazine, for the first person who would like to have this and contacts me. Just leave a comment or send me an email to mike at miketheory dot com.

Take a spin around the web:
Pay it Forward Foundation
Oprah’s Pay it Forward Challenge Ideas
Pay it Forward on Wikipedia

If anyone wants to share a favorite pay it forward moment, or if this inspires you to do something for someone please feel free to leave a comment.